the christmas tree fell
this was my mom’s response
oh i just fell in love weird
We live in a country that makes procuring reproductive care as difficult as possible: we give young people inaccurate and dangerous information about sex via ideologically driven abstinence-only education; 87 percent of counties in the US have no abortion provider; we deny financial assistance to the most in need and put up obstacles for younger women; one-third of women seeking abortions have to travel more than twenty-five miles to obtain one, and crisis pregnancy centers routinely lie to women about far into their pregnancy they are. Not to mention that we provide nothing in the way of support to parents—no mandated paid parental leave, no universal preschool or subsidized child care.
The Republican war on reproductive justice is directly responsible for women’s seeking later abortions. It’s easier for anti-choicers to perpetuate a myth of callous women who cavalierly decide to end their twenty-two-week pregnancy than to admit that their cruel and punitive policies are why women don’t get the care they need earlier."
I like it when MRAs call me a twit cause it reminds me of twix.
Okay, so then what rights do feminists lack that men have? Because here in the United States of America you have just as many rights as men have, in fact, more.
Okay, I am responding to this because I think you believe you are raising salient points, and you seem to be a sensitive and misguided person. So I will explain this as best as I can and you’re obviously free to disagree but I urge you to really consider the things I’m about to say.
Do I have the right to know if the baby you say is mine is actually mine?
You don’t, and here’s why: you don’t carry the child. It’s not your body. Trying to find out if the baby is “actually” yours would require someone taking a test and invading their body for your own personal curiosity. I get that it sucks, but it’s hardly a “right” for you to have any kind of say over someone else’s body and reproductive system. If the person wanted to pursue child support, men do have access to the courts to verify if the child is, in fact, theirs. You don’t have to believe in the judicial system when it comes to this, but I’ve seen it work. I know people personally that it has worked for — men included.
Do I have the right to not have my genitals mutilated as a baby?
There are feminists that fight against circumcision, you know. I’m not one of them (and I’m a man who is circumcised) but they do exist. You should be fighting for that right if you truly believe you have been mutilated and if that truly has interfered with your life. But I would study the history of circumcision before I started blaming feminists for that.
Do I have the right to get my children half of the time in the event of a divorce by default, or do I have to struggle and fight to get them just for weekends?
There are so many horror myths about this very thing that I’m shocked no one has really done any investigating on it. Unless you’re a truly shit parent, it’s actually not that unimaginable that a father gets equal or moderate visitation rights to his children. In fact, custody battles are hell for BOTH PARENTS, male or female, and have more recently fallen in the statistical advantage of the father because women often do financially worse than men after divorces and cannot afford to continue litigation.
Also, you might hate this point, but it IS a patriarchal system that has essentialized women as the primary caregivers. Women didn’t do that and actually have been actively fighting against that stereotype. Culturally, men reinforce that idea. Feminists WANT this stereotype knocked down, which would help solve the problem. Feminists are on your side on this one, dude.
Do I have the right to get help if I’m raped, or will I be mocked and asked if she was hot?
I feel this deeply because I am a rape survivor. A woman raped me when I was young. And guess what? A MAN didn’t believe me when I told him about it. You do have that right, but it’s something I know for a fact women face on a much more frequent basis than men. However, feminists WANT people to believe ANY rape survivors and often advocate for male survivors to get help and have spaces created for them to receive that help. Being mocked is rape culture, and any feminist worth their salt is fighting against it.
Do I have the right to call the police if my wife is beating me, or will I get arrested simply because I’m bigger?
Here’s the thing — I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve known enough cops and done enough research to know that whoever calls 911 first is generally protected under the law before the “aggressor.” I’ve known aggressors who have used this to their advantage and called the police knowing they could get away with hurting someone because they dialed the call and the cops were helpless to do anything but take the other person into custody. Again, if this is a pervasive problem and not just an isolated incident, you’d be hard pressed to find a legitimate feminist who wasn’t advocating for ANY domestic violence victim. However, it’s well known that it happens more often to women than men — there’s no denying that.
Do I have the right to go to a domestic violence shelter to get away from my abuse spouse? (Hint, there are ZERO men’s shelters in Canada but over 500 for women. In fact, feminists fought against funding for the only one that did exist, and pushed for keeping shelters only open to women.)
No, you don’t have that right. Do you know why? Because the cost of running a shelter is expensive. And the reason most women even need shelters isn’t necessarily for protection, it’s because in an abusive relationship women often don’t have the financial resources to leave their abuser. So shelters provide not only safety, but a place to stay. This is also because women are generally burdened with childcare — and that’s a HUGE factor. Men, even those in abusive relationships, are often more financially able to be independent, and do not need shelters for that reason because they are capable of affording and finding housing, even temporarily. The number of men who are abused and also unable to afford shelter is so low that the shelter would not be able to sustain itself. It’s like cooking an entire feast for one person — it will go to waste. These facilities aren’t cheap and easy to maintain. Also, you keep point to Canada as an example — is this a very common thing that ZERO men’s shelters exist or is that just the instance that helps prove your point?
I HAVE NO REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS AT ALL. My choices when it comes to not having a child exist of basically three things: Wear a condom, don’t have sex, or have a vasectomy. Wearing a condom isn’t even foolproof, as they can break, or have holes popped in them. After the fact? Nothing. If she keeps it, I have to pay for child support, or I get sued and labeled as a “deadbeat dad”. Your choices after the fact? Have the kid and put it up for adoption, or leave it at a safe haven, or keep it and have me pay child support, or just get an abortion. I can’t even physically have an abortion, so that’s not an issue of women’s rights, that’s a human rights issue.
What reproductive rights would you expect to have if you don’t carry the child inside of your body? I’m serious, think that through. Nine months is a long time. Pregnancy can be dangerous, even lethal, and you expect to exert some right over someone else’s decision and BODY about whether or not to risk their health because you want to be a daddy? Go adopt.
The child support comment is hilarious to me, because the legal system almost never enforces it. Do you know how many people, how many men, get away with not making a single payment of child support? Nearly 11 million fathers in the United States do not live with their children. 67% of these fathers do not pay formal child support. Sued? If the woman cannot afford enough for childcare, what makes you think she can afford legal counsel? And no, abortion is not a “human rights issue,” it’s literally a woman’s issue because YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO MAKE THAT CHOICE. And condoms are pretty effective if used properly.
Hell, if I’m not having sex I’m shamed for it. You might think men don’t get shamed for having sex, but are you a man? Why do you think men don’t get shamed for having or not having sex? I’m shamed all the time by my male friends because I’m still a virgin. Do your friends constantly question your sexuality because you’re a 21 year old virgin? Does your sexuality get questioned the moment you’re not up for having sexual discussions with someone? Because it does when I say to girls that I’m not interested in sexting right now.
I am a man, and I have never been shamed or seen any single one of my male friends shamed for not having sex. Honestly, you’ve got some shitty friends. But you’re not wrong — the concept of virginity is ridiculous and very much fought against by feminists because it stigmatizes men and women alike. What you’re talking about is the idea of masculinity being rooted in virility and sexuality — which is a patriarchal notion. Patriarchy says men need to be sexually promiscuous to be men, but women engaging in the same behavior are less than. Feminists fight this, and the change would help you, too.
Does that mean I need feminism because my friends are dicks about my lack of having sex? No, because people will still be shitty people, and feminism isn’t going to change that. There are issues men face, including discrimination in custody and divorce courts, and feminists don’t give a fuck about them.
Naw, dude, you’re wrong. Feminists would never shame anyone, male or female or transgender, about not having sex. Because they believe sexuality is a personal choice, and people should have it when they are ready with enthusiastic consent. The feminists I know are not shitty people in this regard. It’s the non-feminists that are because they are generally traditionalists with puritanical views of sexuality.
The courts and divorce stuff is honestly not what you think it is. Custody battles are hell. I’ve known women nearly lose custody after their husbands RAPED their children because they ran out of money to pay for their lawyers. It’s fucked all around, but feminists are aware of that. Clearly you are misinformed, because I have been studying feminism and its history for years, and I’ve only ever seen its teachings as beneficial to men and women alike.
You know what else I need men’s rights movement for? To help get rid of the stigma that comes when men seek help for their depression. Men are up to 7x more likely than women to kill themselves, and I think that’s a fucking shame. Men also account for 90% of workplace deaths and 70% of the homeless. Does that seem like something feminists have tried to fix? Because I haven’t heard of one feminists advocating for women in coal mines, despite the fact that the work pays quite well.
Men’s rights won’t help with that stigma. I’ve suffered from depression, and it was only through feminism that I understood that so many stressors in my life were linked to my expectations as a “man,” which is a patriarchal concept. That’s the case with many men — that masculinity is tied to being the breadwinner, being sexually active with many, many partners, being aggressive and strong and unemotional. That shit is practically impossible to uphold and toxic and leads to depression, which leads to suicide. Feminists want to fix this, but MRAs and men so desperately clinging to their social and cultural hegemony slow this progress.
And you’re wrong about the coal mines. Look up Lois Jenson. She brought up the first sexual harassment lawsuit in America — all because she just wanted to work at the EVTAC mine in Eveleth, Minnesota. Women want to work in mines, in construction, in manual labor jobs — but often times, men don’t want them to. And are violent towards the women that do. Jenson literally had to fight for her right to go to work just like everyone else without fear of being harassed, beaten, or humiliated. You think that ends with coal mines?
Anonymous asked: you're amazing.
Your hashtags on this are #feminism #MRA #idiots
I’m not an MRA. How am I an idiot, because I don’t think that “Patriarchy Backfiring” is a legitimate argument as to why men have issues in our society?
If we live in a patriarchy why can women hold political offices?
I hope you’re fucking joking. Women hold 18.3%, of the 535 seats in the 113th US Congress — 20.0%, of the 100 seats in the Senate and 17.9%, of the 435 seats in the House of Representatives. Which is bullshit because women make up 50.8% of the U.S. population. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why can you as a woman, rape a 14 year old get pregnant, and then sue him for child support?
I’m not a woman, dumbass, nor do I have a uterus — so I can’t rape a 14 year old boy, get pregnant, and then sue him for child support. But let’s get down to business: source this shit and give me more than one example where this happened and was set up by the social and political framework of a society and is systematically enforced and then we’ll talk because until you can do that, 1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime and About 3% of American men — or 1 in 33 — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (and guess who the vast majority of their attackers are? OTHER MEN). Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why is the legal definition of rape often inapplicable when a women rapes a man?
It’s not. The new definition of rape is (according to the Department of Justice): “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but most men have an anus and a mouth — how is it “often inapplicable”? Also, let me restate that men are often raped by other men. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why do men make up 70% of homeless individuals?
40% of the 1.37 million homeless in the USA are families — and by families, the numbers mean women with children. 41% are single males and 14% are single females. That means the majority of homeless (with and without kids) are actually women — and let’s not get started talking about displaced refugees in developing countries, because those numbers are practically all women and children and more severe than anything in North America. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why do women make up 60% of college attendees?
Do you know why this is? I mean, are you capable of looking at a statistic and instead of being infuriated by the implications, actually wondered about why that might be? Because women are valued less in the work force and must compensate for that with higher education — which, frankly, doesn’t seem to count all that much. Because women still don’t make as much as men for the same work, and no — not just $0.77 for every dollar — it’s worse for women of color, especially Hispanic women. So let’s not stand on the shoulders of one number and forget why that number is that way in the first place — especially when white men get nearly 70% of all scholarship funding every year. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why are men up to 7 times more likely to commit suicide?
The answer’s in the question, idiot.
If we live in a patriarchy, why is it my genitals can be legally mutilated as an infant, and yours can’t?
"Mutilated" is a ridiculous word in this context. I’m circumcised. I didn’t choose it, but am I "mutilated"? No. It works fine. Great, even. Never had many complaints about it from others, either. And do you really wanna go there? Cause the numbers of women who are actually mutilated — actually CUT and burned and sewn up and ripped open and prone to hemorrhaging (70% more likely, in fact) during birth and experiencing problems with sex like pain, inability to orgasm or have any sensation whatsoever, and infection that could cause DEATH — are way more staggering, way more dangerous, and way more prevalent than any "mutilation" you or I experienced. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why are there laws such as the Violence Against Women Act?
Gee, I don’t know, maybe because of all the VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN (BY MEN)!? Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why does the Duluth Model for domestic violence exist, which primarily makes it so men are arrested for domestic violence, even when they’re the ones being abused?
Even if I agreed with you on this point (and frankly, I don’t), I would tell you to consider: By the numbers, who are the lawmakers? The legislators? The people in political position to establish and implement such a model? Oh, might it be MEN? Could men have that power? Could men possibly outnumber women in Senate, Congress, House of Representatives, the judicial system, law enforcement agencies, etc? Crazy how that works. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why do we allow women in the military?
Currently, women make up about 15.7 percent of the Active Army. Oh, and The Pentagon has released a report that shows sexual assaults of women in the military are up to the rate of 70 per day. That translates into almost three rapes every hour. Last year, the Pentagon received 3,374 reports of sexual assault, even though the real number is estimated at closer to 26,000. Of those 3,374, nearly 1,000 were thrown out and several hundred others were dropped by commanders as unfounded or for other reasons. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why do laws exist to prevent discrimination in employment based on sex exist?
I don’t know, maybe because of the startling number of women who are/have been discriminated against in the workplace, in hiring situations, and in general? But you’re right, discrimination against women in the work force doesn’t exist at all anymore — because laws ALWAYS work as deterrents, right? Always. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why does Title IX exist?
Do you understand that Title IX exists because of patriarchy? Like, it’s a reaction to it? Do you understand than anything you’re pointing out that is set in place to help women or racial or gender/sexual minorities only proves that there is something to protect them from? What could that be? Hmm.. Patriarchy.
If we live in a patriarchy, why am I as a man more likely to be the victim of all types of violent crimes?
Really? Are you more likely to be raped than a woman? No. Are you more likely to be sexually assaulted than a women? No. Are you more likely to be a victim of domestic violence? No. Are you more likely to be KILLED by your significant other? No. So what are you talking about? Oh, men killing other men? Yeah, that’s not the result of patriarchy — and class has nothing to do with it, or access to education or financial resources or better paying jobs or racial profiling — it’s all because you’re a man. Patriarchy.
If the patriarchy is real, why are there over 500 women’s domestic violence shelters in Canada but ZERO for men?
Yo, maybe it’s because of the disproportionate number of women who are victims of domestic violence as opposed to men. Like 1 IN 4 WOMEN? Like how each year, intimate partner violence results in an estimated 1,200 deaths and 2 million injuries among women and nearly 600,000 injuries among men (WITH LESS THAN 50 DEATHS). Maybe because 4 out of 10 (43%) WOMEN are racked with fear that the abuser will find the victim and need shelters — because they are often burdened with the safety of their CHILDREN as well? BECAUSE 85% OF ABUSIVE MEN ARE LIKELY ALSO TO ABUSE CHILDREN? So WHY? Because Patriarchy.
If you claim that men can’t know what it’s like to be a woman and therefor shouldn’t be feminists, why the fuck do you think you’re qualified to advocate for men if you aren’t one? Since you aren’t qualified to advocate for men, why shouldn’t a men’s rights movement exist to advocate for men who are systemically disadvantaged in society?
A Concerned Man
P.S. If your reply is only going to consist of “It’s the Patriarchy Backfiring on Men” don’t bother replying.
P.S. If your reply is going to make complete sense and point out a very obvious systematic problem with a patriarchal framework, don’t bother replying.
Peggielene Bartels, A.K.A. King Peggy, is currently the King of Otuam, Ghana. She was chosen to be one of only three female kings in Ghana, and when she discovered that male chauvinists wanted her to only be a figurehead, she said: “They were treating me like I am a second-class citizen because I am a woman. I said, ‘Hell no, you’re not going to do this to a woman!’” When she encountered corruption and the threat of embezzlement to the royal funds, she declared “I’m going to squeeze their balls so hard their eyes pop!”
King Peggy has maintained her work in Ghana’s embassy in Washington, D.C. while making education affordable in Otuam, installing borehead wells to produce clean drinking water, enforcing incarceration laws to deal with domestic violence, replenishing the royal coffers by taxing Otuam’s fishing industry to improve life in the village, and appointing three women to her council.
“Nobody should tell you, ‘You’re a woman, you can’t do it,’” she insists. “You can do it. Be ready to accept it when the calling comes.”
Quoted from the Spring/Summer 2012 issue of Ms. Magazine.
What a beautiful badass woman.
King Peggy has been on my blog before but this is my goddamn blog and I will have King Peggy on here twice if I want.
MORE FEMALE KINGS.
Always reblog King Peggy, who is on my dash far less than she should be. Did you know she has written a book about her life? It is great, and you should all get right on that if you haven’t already.
I think I’ll go find myself a copy of her book. What a fascinating and no-nonsense woman! (I debated typing ‘person’ there, for the sake of equanimity, but the whole point of this is that she IS a woman)
If someone has decided to cut their close family members out of their life, don’t say they’re “giving up.” They’re deciding to let themselves heal, and that’s the farthest thing from giving up. That’s growth.
THIS FUCKIN’ MOVIE.
GO SEE IT.
P.S. FUCK SEA WORLD
is it in theatres now because I got really confused and thought it was only playing for one weekend BUT I NEED TO SEE IT
This is in theaters now! Probably only the more “art house” theaters but it’s out there!!